Emic perceptions of age-appropriate parent-child intimate behaviors related to hygiene, affection and privacy

ABSTRACT

Objective@#A multi-phase, sequential mixed methods study aimed to determine acceptable age-appropriate physical intimate behaviors shared between Filipino parents and children that are related to hygiene, affection and privacy. @*Methods@#Following an exploratory qualitative phase (Phase 1) and an instrumentation phase (Phase 2), the quantitative survey phase (Phase 3) utilized the resultant Filipino Family Behavior Questionnaire (FFBQ). A total of 145 participants from Cabuyao, Laguna and selected urban communities in Metro Manila were comprised of 72 parents and 73 adult children. @*Results@#Parents and adult children view the affection-related behaviors of hugging (magyakapan/ magyapusan) and kissing on the cheeks (humalik sa pisngi) as most acceptable among the list of parent-child intimate behaviors in the FFBQ, and is allowed without any age limit set for children (up to age 18 years). The lowest accepted age-appropriate intimate behaviors were hygiene related, specifically on washing genitalia (median 5 years, range 0,18), co-bathing (3 years, range 0,18), and holding/kissing genitals (0, range 0,17). Generally, adult children accept higher age-limits compared to parent participants. Both groups placed higher age-acceptable limits on mothers compared to fathers. When comparing parent-child pairs, same-gender pairs have significantly higher age-acceptable limits compared to mixed gender pairs. Ranked in order of highest to lowest age-acceptable limits, the most accepted gender pair in performing intimate behavior is mother-daughter; father-son; mother-son; and father-daughter. Perceptions of acceptable age limits were comparable between parents with adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) compared to those without ACE, except for hugging between mother-daughter (17.21 vs 18 years, p=0.04) and father-daughter (17.21 vs 14.22 years, p<0.01) as well as co-dressing of mother-son (3.76 vs 2.19 years, p=0.02).For children, differences in perception were noted only for hugging between mother and son (17.95 vs 15.37 years, p<0.01), and kissing on lips between father and son (5.33 vs 8.94 years, p=0.03). Respondents in Phase 4 believe that mothers are seen as nurturing and caring towards children, thus rendering acceptance of higher age limits for engaging in intimate behavior, specifically for hygiene and privacy. Similar-gender pairs tend to be more at ease with each other, hence the persistence of intimate behavior even at older ages. @*Conclusion@#This study was able to identify Filipino intimate behaviors of parents and children including their age-appropriateness. Parents and adult children had similar valuations for healthy boundaries in intimate behavior, as evidenced by the older perceived mean ages for hugging, kissing on the cheek (affection) and co-sleeping (privacy), as well as younger perceived mean ages for hygiene-related intimate behavior such as holding/kissing genitalia, washing genitalia and co-bathing. Parent-child intimate behavior is more acceptable for same-gender pairs, and is least appropriate for older ages in father-daughter pairs. Moreover, adult children appear to be more permissible in exhibiting lower cutoffs for age limits of acceptability compared to parents.