Lesbian FLEX-ibility Friend and/or Family Connections Among Lesbian Ex-Lovers.

Abstract Lesbian ex-lover relationships have frequently been noted as unique phenomena, yet they have received little empirical or theoretical attention. In this article, the available literature on lesbian ex-lovers is examined, as are possible factors and/or motivations among lesbians for maintaining ties with ex-lovers, and especially for constructing close friend and/or family connections among lesbian ex-lovers-what the author calls FLEX relationships. Three main types of factors/motivations are identified: (a) those that reflect a problematic developmental perspective, (b) contextual influences (such as lesbians' oppression as lesbians and women, socialization as girls and women, and the tendency for same-sex friendships), and (c) constructive challenges to traditional relational forms, family patterns and/or adult development models that offer alternative models for adult lives and relationships. Finally, the author considers the importance of attending to the ex-lover relational form and future directions this attention might take, closing with consideration of the implications for all of us-whatever our sexualities and gender identities-that may be drawn from telling constructive stories of friend/family relationships among lesbian ex-lovers.

Building bridges.

Abstract Friendships between lesbians and heterosexual women were explored using a sample of 47 mostly White women (23 lesbians and 24 heterosexual women), ages 18 to 25, that reported at least one close lesbian-heterosexual woman friendship. A majority of participants indicated that friendships between lesbians and heterosexual women had both uniquely positive and negative aspects that could be attributed to the difference in sexual identity. Positive aspects included socio-emo-tional benefits, opportunities for learning, and societal benefits. Negative aspects included anxiety about sexuality, doubts regarding mutual understanding, clashes of perspectives and experience, and societal stressors. Implications of the findings for challenging current social inequities associated with sexual identities were explored.