Exploring Compersion: A Study on Polish Consensually Non-Monogamous Individuals and Adaptation of the COMPERSe Questionnaire.

Compersion is a positive emotion experienced in relation to one's partner's relationship(s) with other partner(s). Experiencing it is highly desired in communities practicing consensual non-monogamy (CNM), especially polyamory. This article presents the results of a study on compersion on Polish CNM individuals. The main goal of the study was to adapt to the Polish-speaking population the COMPERSe (Classifying Our Metamour/Partner Emotional Response Scale; Flicker et al., 2021), the first standardized quantitative scale designed to measure compersion. The analyses were performed on data obtained from 211 individuals in CNM relationships and on a comparative group of 169 people in monogamous relationships. The results of the confirmatory factor analyses suggested that the three-factor model of the original COMPERSe version did not fit well, leading to further revisions that resulted in a 7-item, two-factor solution with excellent fit, excellent internal consistency, strong divergent and convergent validity, and excellent test-retest stability. The CNM individuals were found to have higher scores on compersion and cognitive empathy and were also less jealous than the monogamous participants. Furthermore, polyamorous individuals experienced more compersion and less aversion to partner's autonomy than people in open relationships. It was also revealed that compersion indirectly predicted relationship satisfaction by decreasing jealousy and that compersion was, in turn, predicted by cognitive empathy. However, when polyamorous and open relationships were analyzed separately, compersion predicted relationship satisfaction directly, but only in polyamorous relationships; meanwhile, in open relationships, satisfaction was directly predicted by cognitive empathy.

Understanding service preferences among consensually non-monogamous individuals seeking sexual healthcare.

Despite consensually non-monogamous people being a minority population with specific healthcare needs, research on this group is minimal, especially in relation to sexual healthcare. This study explores the motivations behind consensually non-monogamous individuals' choices of sexual healthcare service options. Qualitative survey data was collected from 67 consensual non-monogamists and analysed using thematic analysis. Two key themes captured participants' perspectives on the selection of sexual healthcare services. 'Feeling Comfortable' highlighted preferences for sexually inclusive clinics and LGBT+- focused services due to perceived better quality of care and comfort. 'Practicalities' emphasised convenience, proximity and the availability of STI testing options as critical factors influencing service selection. Accordingly, this research provides insight into the specific sexual healthcare service needs, desires and motivations of those who are consensually non-monogamous. Suggestions are made for increased training and awareness when working with relationship diverse patients.

Your Happiness Is My Happiness: Predicting Positive Feelings for a Partner's Consensual Extra-Dyadic Intimate Relations.

This quantitative study tested hypotheses derived from a previous qualitative study of the factors that facilitated and hindered compersion (the positive feelings derived from one's partner's intimate relations with others) in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. A total of 255 participants recruited from online CNM and Alt-Sex communities reported on demographic and relationship characteristics as well as individual, relationship, and metamour-related variables in an online anonymous survey. In Flicker et al. (2022), we identified various factors that predicted three subtypes of compersion: contentment with one's partner's relationships with established metamours (intimate partners of one's partners), excitement sparked by one's partner's new/potentially new intimate connections, and sexual excitement elicited by thinking about one's partner with another person. The current findings were consistent with the Flicker et al. qualitative study, with some hypotheses from the previous study more strongly supported than others. The predictors of compersion most strongly supported by the current data include closeness with one's metamour and knowledge about the partner/metamour relationship, in a positive direction, as well as jealousy, envy, and attachment anxiety, in a negative direction. Individual-level predictors were weak predictors of compersion. The sexual arousal subtype of compersion was weakly endorsed by the current sample and predictors of this subtype were distinct from predictors of the other subtypes of compersion. The findings suggest that the development of new interventions that target reducing jealousy and envy and increasing attachment security within the unique context of CNM relationships could have the added benefit of increasing compersion. The development of these interventions stands to benefit a growing population of individuals involved in CNM relationships.

A Narrative Review of the Dichotomy Between the Social Views of Non-Monogamy and the Experiences of Consensual Non-Monogamous People.

Monogamy is deeply rooted in most Western societies, shaping how people construe and behave in romantic relationships. These normative views facilitate the emergence of negative perceptions and evaluations when people choose not to adhere to mononormativity. Even though people in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are targets of stigmatization, research shows a dichotomy between these negative views and the relational experiences of CNM people. Indeed, people in CNM and monogamous relationships have comparable relationship functioning and quality and struggle with similar relationship problems. One of the differences is that CNM relationships afford people to explore their sexuality and fulfill their needs with multiple partners, without agreed-upon extradyadic behavior being perceived as infidelity or having deleterious consequences to relationship maintenance. These positive experiences notwithstanding, CNM people are continuously pressured by mononormativity and stigmatization, increasing the risk of internalized CNM negativity and worse personal and relational outcomes. One possible way to counteract CNM stigmatization and improve the lives of CNM people is by changing discourses surrounding non-monogamy and improving acceptance, not only in professional settings but also in the general population. Another strategy is to understand how the relationship beliefs and scripts of younger generations can help promote more inclusive and diverse societies.

Examining the Role of Mononormative Beliefs, Stigma, and Internalized Consensual Non-Monogamy Negativity for Dehumanization.

Interest in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships has been increasing in the general population in recent years. However, given the cultural dominance of monogamy and the normative expectations often imposed through socialization (i.e., mononormativity), people in CNM relationships may experience negativity, which can become internalized and harm their individual and relationship health. The present study investigated if mononormativity beliefs and CNM relationship stigma were associated with more dehumanization and if internalized CNM negativity was an underlying mechanism for these associations. Results showed that participants who endorsed more mononormative beliefs and CNM relationship stigma also reported more internalized CNM negativity. In turn, participants who experienced more internalized CNM negativity attributed more negative (vs. positive) emotions to themselves and treated their partners as more immature, unrefined, exploitable, and emotionless. These results show that mononormativity and internalized negativity can shape the attitudes, perceptions, and behaviors of CNM individuals toward themselves and their partners.

Polygamous Interest in a Mononormative Nation: The Roles of Sex and Sociosexuality in Polygamous Interest in a Heterosexual Sample from the UK.

Polygamy is a form of "one-sided" consensually non-monogamous relationship where one person has multiple committed partners, each of whom is only involved with that one person. It was likely a reoccurring feature of ancestral mating that posed adaptive problems for our ancestors. Yet polygamy, and multi-partnering more generally, is understudied in Western cultures, raising questions about the existence of polygamous interest and whether this is calibrated adaptively to personal conditions. In two studies, we examined polygamous interest in two heterosexual online samples from the UK. In Study 1 (N = 393), modest interest was found for polygamous relationships overall. Men were six times more open to polygyny than women, but there was little sex difference in openness to polyandry. Further analysis revealed that all forms of multi-partnering were undesirable relative to singlehood and monogamy; however, consensual multi-partner relationships were less undesirable than non-consensual ones. Sex differences were largest for polygyny and arrangements where men had agreed access to a casual partner alongside a committed one, yet these were two of the most acceptable forms of multi-partnering when men and women's responses were combined. Sociosexuality positively predicted interest in most forms of multi-partnering. Study 2 (N = 735) focused on polygyny and added status-linked traits as predictors. The results of Study 1 were broadly replicated, though the status-linked traits did not predict polygynous interest specifically. Instead, sociosexuality and male intrasexual competitiveness uniquely predicted general interest in multi-partner relationships. Overall, interest in polygamy appears to emerge despite social discouragement and sex differences in interest track the relative costs and benefits associated with it. However, there is no strong evidence that polygamous interest is uniquely calibrated to personal conditions when compared to other forms of multi-partnering.

Initial Motivations for Engaging in Polyamorous Relationships.

Polyamory is a relationship style in which partners consensually agree to engage in sexual and/or emotional relationships with concurrent partners. Compared with other forms of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), polyamory practitioners tend to report greater relationship satisfaction and less jealousy. However, the unique motivations leading people to engage with polyamory are less understood. Previous research has examined motivations for engaging in CNM relationship styles, in general, but no research has focused exclusively on the motivations of polyamory practitioners. The present study draws on the open-ended responses of 63 U.S. American adults who reported previous or current engagement in at least one consensually polyamorous relationship. Thematic analyses revealed four themes guiding participants' initial motivations for polyamory engagement: values alignment, relationship factors, external triggers, and sexuality. The study's themes are discussed in the context of self-determination theory and situated in the existing body of CNM and polyamory research. Directions for future research provide next steps for examining outcomes associated with specific polyamory motivations.

A superação à família monogâmica é pela coletividade! Parentalidades não-monogâmicas de pessoas sexo-gênero-diversas / The overcoming of the monogamous family is through the community! Non-monogamous parenting of sex-gender-diverse people

Resumo Pessoas sexo-gênero-diversas e que são não-monogâmicas tensionam a cisnormatividade e a mononormatividade. Em termos científicos, há uma nebulosidade quanto aos arranjos parenterais dessas pessoas. Assim, esta etnografia objetiva compreender a percepção de pessoas sexo-gênero-diversas não-monogâmicas sobre parentalidades. O referencial teórico utilizado partiu dos estudos não-monogâmicos, amor e sexualidade das Ciências Sociais e Humanas em Saúde da Saúde Coletiva, e o metodológico da etnografia digital. O trabalho de campo ocorreu entre 2021 e 2022, em um grupo on-line do WhatsApp. A observação participante foi empregada no grupo e foram realizadas entrevistas on-line semiestruturadas. Emergiram duas categorias: a) Os nós das parentalidades não-monogâmicas e b) As parentalidades coletivas. Na primeira, se explora a importância do vínculo nas redes afetivas e expõe as barreiras desses arranjos familiares. Já na segunda, se descreve a importância do viver em comunidade, bem como o resgate à ancestralidade indígena e negra. O resgate à ancestralidade e às formas de se viver em comunidade ganham relevo à medida que se compreende a importância que estes possuem na vivência das parentalidades de pessoas sexo-gênero-diversas e que são não-monogâmicas.

Abstract Sex-gender-diverse and non-monogamous strain cisnormativity and mononormativity. In scientific terms, the parenting arrangements of these people are uncertain. Thus, this ethnography aims to understand the perception of non-monogamous sex-gender-diverse people about parenting. The theoretical framework adopted is derived from non-monogamous studies, love and sexuality from the Social and Human Sciences in Public Health and the digital ethnography methodological framework. Fieldwork occurred from 2021 to 2022 through an online WhatsApp group. Participant observation was employed in the group, and semi-structured online interviews were held. Two categories emerged: a) The non-monogamous parenting nodes and b) Collective parenting. In the first, the importance of bonds in affective networks is explored, and the barriers to these family arrangements are exposed. The second describes the importance of living in a community, and Indigenous and Black ancestry is revived. The revived ancestry and ways of living in a community gain importance as we understand their relevance in the experience of parenting for sex-gender-diverse people who are non-monogamous.

More than Two but not Right Now: Interpretations and Responses to Covid-19 Measures on Reddit for Two Communities of Consensual Non-Monogamy.

Using Owen's Thematic Analysis, we reviewed the Reddit posts of participants in two online communities regarding consensual non-monogamy (CNM) during the January 2021 peak of the Covid-19 pandemic. In 5,209 comments, 465 unique users in the /polyamory and /swinging forums on the social media platform Reddit referred to the pandemic with two themes emerging as most salient. In the first theme, participants described, interpreted, and responded to the social limitations of the Covid-19 era, with particular attention to limitations on CNM identity and behavior during the pandemic. In the second theme, participants articulated concerns about individual and social health. In addition to strictly personal concerns about physical and mental health, participants described challenges to the well-being of relationships and communities and ways to manage risk and mitigate social damage. We discuss the implication of these findings in light of the unique social structure of CNM communities.

Pre-Cohabitation Conversations for Relationships: Recommended Questions for Discussion.

Moving in together is an important transition in a relationship. For many, it is often a shift to the next phase of the relationship indicating higher levels of commitment. Whether the partners are married, plans to get married, or marriage is not part of their future, there are important conversations to be had prior to this transition. As such, this article presents recommended pre-cohabitation conversations with question prompts for partners to explore prior to moving in together. To best understand the dynamics of cohabiting that informed the questions, a review of the literature on cohabitation is presented. Additionally, race and culture, religion, and sexual and gender identity will be highlighted as essential conversation considerations especially as the majority of the literature is centered around white, hetero, and monogamous relationships. Created by a group of couple and family therapy graduate trainees based on the literature and their own personal and professional experiences, the pre-cohabitation conversations are organized into three categories- relationship negotiations, household rules, and communication. These conversations are recommended to be used both by therapists with their clients as well as for direct use by partners following the questions presented within. The topics represent a comprehensive range of relationship issues including consideration of unique issues as presented in the literature with the goal of aiding partners in successful management of their transition to a shared living space.

Collective Sex and Committed Relationships: A Qualitative Exploration of Relationship Desires Among Gay Men Who Attend Sex Clubs.

Studies have documented gay men's engagement in collective sex (e.g., group sex in public or commercial environments) but little attention has been paid to these men's relationship desires or agreements. We report on qualitative interviews with 20 gay men who attended private sex clubs in New York City, asking how participants navigated sometimes conflicting desires for collective sex and committed relationships. Participants felt that collective sex was either a) incompatible with relationships, which should be monogamous; b) complementary to a primary non-monogamous relationship; or c) at least as important as relationships. Gay men attending sex clubs attribute different value to collective sex and to committed relationships, and experience different challenges in satisfying their desires for intimacy. Resources could help gay men navigating these apparently conflicting desires and making suitable choices regarding their relationships and/or sexual agreements.

Personality and Mating Orientations in Monogamy and Consensual Non-Monogamy in Young Spanish University Students.

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is a non-normative relationship that can generally be defined as relationships in which the involved individuals have openly agreed that they can have other sexual and/or affective partners. Despite growing interest in CNM, little research has been conducted regarding characteristics of the involved individuals, as well as comparing CNM individuals and monogamous individuals' characteristics. Expanding this research is important, as CNM constitutes a sizeable minority group, and CNM individuals and relationships are subject to stigma and dehumanization. The present study compared CNM and monogamous individuals in terms of personality (including "dark" personality) and mating orientations (sociosexuality and long-term mating) in young Spanish university students. Main results indicated that CNM individuals did not differ much in personality nor were they prone to higher "dark" personality traits when compared to monogamous individuals. Regarding mating orientations, CNM individuals were prone to higher sociosexuality levels and lower levels of long-term mating. Interestingly, results showed positive correlations between sociosexuality and "dark" personality in monogamous individuals, but not in CNM individuals. In conclusion, young Spanish university CNM individuals seem to be more pro-sex than monogamous people and less committed to the romantic love narrative of long-term mating, but these individuals were not more untrustworthy, self-centered, ruthless, or malevolent. Results were also discussed regarding their implications in the stigma and dehumanization of CNM people.

Stigma Toward Consensual Non-Monogamy: Thematic Analysis and Minority Stress.

Consensually non-monogamous (CNM) romantic and sexual relationships tend to be stigmatized. The present research examined this stigma across two studies. First, we qualitatively explored the specific ways that people in CNM relationships report experiencing stigma using thematic analysis and identified the following four themes: Expressions of discomfort/disapproval of CNM, Loss of resources/threatening behaviors, Character devaluation, and Relationship devaluation (Study 1; N = 372). Second, we examined the relationship between experienced stigma and psychological well-being for people in CNM relationships, using the framework of minority stress theory. We found that experienced stigma was positively associated with psychological distress and that this association was partially statistically mediated by anticipated stigma and internalized stigma (Study 2; N = 383). Overall, this research strives to achieve a better understanding of the processes and potential consequences of stigma toward CNM relationships and individuals.

Motivation of non-monogamous adults to engage in sex with their different partners.

This study compared motivations of individuals in non-monogamous relationships to engage in sex with their different partners (n = 596, out of which 103 non-consensual non-monogamous, 135 polyamorous, 204 swinging, 154 in open relationships; women-38.8%, men-59.7%, other gender-1.5%; age range: from 18 to 65+ years; 86% of respondents between 25 and 54 years old; majority of the respondents are in a long-term relationship). The research aim was to identify whether there are differences in reasons to engage in sex with respondents' primary versus secondary partners. Presented with 17 reasons to engage in sexual activity, the respondents rated the frequency with which they engage in sex for each reason with their different partners. Questions for 14 reasons to engage in sex were created based on the YSEX? questionnaire and three questions were created specifically for non-monogamous population. The three new questions addressed the desire for a specific type of sex (such as kink, fetish, etc.), desire to have sex with a partner of another gender than one's primary partner, and desire to experience the thrill of the forbidden. The results indicated that there are significant differences in motivation to engage in sex with one's primary versus secondary partner for most of the reasons. Additionally, this study investigated whether there are differences in motivation to engage in sex with different partners depending on the relationship arrangement. The data analysis shows that there are differences in reasons to engage in sex with one's different partners between non-consensually and consensually non-monogamous groups. This research compliments existing body of research with new reasons to engage in sex, it demonstrates that non-monogamous people engage in sex with their different partners for different reasons and reveals that these may vary depending on the type of the relationship arrangement.

What do we know about consensual non-monogamy?

Recent years have seen considerable interest in consensual non-monogamy from both public and academic perspectives. At least 5% of the North American population is currently in a consensually non-monogamous relationship of some form and there is little difference in measures of relationship quality compared to monogamous relationships. Despite increasing levels of understanding and engagement many practitioners of consensual non-monogamy still experience stigma (and minority stress) which is exacerbated by context (e.g. parenting, healthcare settings), type of consensual non-monogamy (e.g. polyamory vs swinging) and intersects with other identities (e.g. race, sexuality). This review outlines what is currently understood about consensual non-monogamy and argues that relationship diversity has a place alongside gender and sexuality when studying sexual behaviours, romantic relationships, and well-being.

Personality Predictors of Prejudicial Attitudes, Willingness to Engage, and Actual Engagement in Consensual Non-Monogamy.

Personality variables, including sensation-seeking, interpersonal trust, avoidance of uncertainty, endorsement of social conformity, and love styles (Ludus, Eros, Pragma, Storge, Mania, and Agape), were examined as predictors of prejudicial attitudes toward individuals who practice polyamory and personal interest in engaging in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) among 1831 participants who completed anonymous surveys online. Personality characteristics were also compared between individuals who currently practice CNM (n = 67) and case-matched controls involved in monogamous relationships. As predicted, prejudicial attitudes and willingness to engage in CNM were positively and moderately correlated and there was substantial overlap in the predictors of both variables. However, the strongest predictors differed: prejudicial attitudes were best predicted, in a positive direction, by endorsement of social conformity and, to a lesser extent, Pragma love style, while willingness to engage in CNM was best predicted by the Ludus (positive) and Eros (negative) love styles. Individuals who practice monogamy and CNM were more similar than different: only two of the 12 variables tested significantly differed. CNM individuals are more ludic and more tolerant of cognitive uncertainty. Difficulty interpreting some of the results laid bare the need for relationship measures that are valid for individuals who practice CNM. Improving our understanding of the relation between personality traits and CNM may help us develop better interventions for clients who seek to transition from monogamy to CNM but struggle to adapt to the new challenges as well as design better efforts to increase acceptance and reduce discrimination against those who practice CNM.

Stigmatization of Consensual Non-Monogamous Partners: Perceived Endorsement of Conservation or Openness to Change Values Vary According to Personal Attitudes.

Studies have shown that romantic partners in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are targets of stigmatization. However, little is known about the underlying mechanisms and the conditions under which such stigmatization occurs. In two experimental studies (combined N = 772), we asked participants to read the description of two partners in a relationship (monogamous vs. open relationship vs. polyamorous) and make a series of judgments about those partners. Overall results showed that CNM (vs. monogamous) partners were perceived as less trustworthy and as having more sexual health concerns (Studies 1 and 2), and as being less committed and less sexually satisfied (Study 2). Results from a conditional mediation analysis (Study 2) further showed that participants with negative attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy perceived CNM (vs. monogamous) partners as having less conservation and more openness to change values, which was then associated with more stigmatization. In contrast, participants with positive attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy perceived CNM (vs. monogamous) partners as having more openness to change values, which was then associated with less stigmatization. Taken together, these results extended the literature focused on prejudice, discrimination, and stigmatization of minority groups and highlighted key elements that can be used to buffer stigmatization.

Factors that Facilitate and Hinder the Experience of Compersion Among Individuals in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships.

Compersion refers to the positive feelings, such as joy, excitement and contentment, that one may experience in response to one's partner's other consensually non-monogamous (CNM) intimate relationship(s). In the study, we recruited 44 CNM participants who had experienced compersion to complete an open-ended online survey regarding the factors that facilitated and hindered their experiences of compersion. A thematic analysis identified three main themes: intrapersonal/individual factors, experiences in and characteristics of the relationship with one's partner(s), and feelings/judgments about one's metamour (one's partner's partner). The factors most commonly named by participants as facilitating compersion included: feelings of self-worth, feeling secure and that one's needs were being met in the relationship with the partner, communication with one's partner, and positive regard for one's metamour. Participants shared conflicting experiences regarding the nature of the relationship between jealousy and compersion and whether the ability to feel compersion was innate or learned. Findings were generally consistent with the small body of literature on this phenomenon. Several theories, including Broaden-and-Build, Self-Expansion, and Crossover, may help us understand the underpinnings of compersion and the pathways through which the experience might strengthen and deepen relationships. The study's results suggest multiple hypotheses ripe for future testing. Increasing our knowledge of this little known phenomenon carries the potential to help us identify strategies to manage jealousy and increase positive feelings across all relationship types.

Attitudes Toward and Willingness to Engage in Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) Among African Americans Who Have Never Engaged in CNM.

Research on consensual non-monogamy (CNM) has largely focused on CNM behavior, while less attention has been given to attitudes toward and willingness to engage in CNM. Additionally, the study of CNM among African Americans is underexplored. Through an online survey study, we examined the correlates of attitudes toward and willingness to engage in CNM among African Americans who have never engaged in CNM, as attitudes and willingness provide insight into future behavior and stigmatization of CNM. We also assessed open-ended responses of reasons given for considering or not considering CNM engagement. A total of 904 African Americans between the ages of 18-40 participated in this study. Regressions were utilized to determine the correlates of attitudes toward and willingness to engage in CNM. Sexual orientation and gender were significant predictors of attitudes toward CNM. Age, sexual orientation, and gender were significant predictors of willingness to engage in CNM. Qualitative analyses revealed three themes among those who have considered engaging in CNM: (1) always been curious or had fantasies about trying a threesome, swinging, or open relationship, (2) thinks it would be fun, provides excitement, and can improve the relationship, and (3) would consider it under the right circumstances. Most participants reported never considering CNM engagement for the following reasons: (1) CNM is inconsistent with religious beliefs, morals, or values, (2) is just not for me, (3) it's the same as cheating, (4) committed to partner, (5) the belief that CNM increases risk of HIV/STIs, and (6) that CNM causes drama.

BDSM, Non-Monogamy, Consent, and Stigma Navigation: Narrative Experiences.

With the rise in popularity of media pieces depicting alternative sexual/relationship preferences, there has been a rise in interest in kink and BDSM (Sprott & Berkey, 2015), which corresponds with research suggesting that approximately 20% of Americans have been in a consensually non-monogamous relationship (Haupert et al., 2016). Despite this growing popularity, these populations are often stigmatized and misunderstood (Bettinger, 2002). The present study examined the self-reported experiences of individuals who have participated in kink, BDSM, non-monogamy, and/or polyamory. Specifically, the study used qualitative methodology to examine narratives of discrimination, harassment, coming out, being outed, consent violations, and/or sexual assault in a BDSM or non-monogamous encounter. Participants consisted of 67 adults who completed an online survey conducted by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and were asked to provide narratives of their experience. Data were analyzed using a modified consensual qualitative research methodology (CQR-M; Spangler et al., 2012). Results indicated 11 categories falling into three domains: navigating incidents (consent issues, negotiation of scenes or relationships, identity/beliefs about coming out, and reporting), contributing factors (role of social media/media, exacerbating factors, and beliefs about the community), and response/prevention (outcome of incident, emotions felt, lessons learned from incident by the participant, and what would be helpful from the community). This study contributes to our understanding of the experiences in this community and elucidates strategies that can be used to intervene and advocate for these populations, including education of the general public and deliberate community support.